Today marks only 2 weeks left until I travel to proudly watch as my
dear husband becomes an official U.S. Soldier.
Today is bitter sweet because while there are only 2 weeks left until I see him, today is also the day that I write my final letter to him.
You see, the post cadre ask that families stop sending letters 2 weeks prior to graduation because its possible that the letters might not get to them once they move on to their next training location.
So just this morning as I mailed my final love note to Chris, it made me stop and reflect on these past 8 weeks.
The first 3 weeks were definitely the hardest. I could barely function. I was numb. On auto-pilot. I could explain in many ways the complete emptiness I felt as my best friend in the whole world was ripped from my life.
After being together for 7 years, and being attached at the hip for 5 of those years, having him gone was unbearable. It was those first few weeks of sadness and uncertainty that led me to write my daily feelings down in a journal every night before bed.
After the 3rd week I finally started to become more aware of what was going on around me. I was getting back to normal life. I was no longer troubled with thoughts of Chris from the moment I woke up, to the moment I fell asleep at night. It's not that I was missing him any less, it was just that finally my mind realized that when I woke up, he wasn't going to be there laying next to me, and that at 5pm he wasn't going to be walking in the front door after work. I no longer cried myself to sleep.... It was during this time when I began to find my inner strength. Strength I didn't even know I had. I Began to find myself.
One of the biggest factors that helped me get through this time apart has been the small goals I have set for myself. I kept myself busy when I could. I went to the gym every day at the same time, the workouts helped me keep my emotions under control. I even began to notice that if I skipped the gym for a day or two, those were the days when I had a hard time seeing the positive side of things.
Many times I wanted to give up. I just wanted to bring him home. Somehow I always found a way to remind myself that this is his dream, and that I love him and admire him for wanting a better life for us. At least a life with some benefits and job security in such a scary time for our economy.
Once the hard weeks were over I began to enjoy watching him transform into a better version of himself. I have talked about his battalion facebook page before, but again I will say that the page has been a blessing. Not only was I able to watch him transform before my eyes, but I gained a support system of other wives and mothers along the way. I have met many wonderful women on the facebook page and honestly feel that without their constant support, I may not have made it through these last 8 weeks.
And when another wife was struggling and would look to me for advice, I would find that helping her was really helping me too. Because I could look at the situation from another perspective other than my own, and that helped open my mind even more.
These FINAL 4 weeks have honestly been a breeze. That probably sounds weird to some of you readers. Of course, I miss Chris like crazy, don't get me wrong. But just as Chris has transformed, so have I.
He is not much of a writer. While I would write and mail a letter off every day, he wrote me about once a week. I am very thankful for the letters that I got from him. Each letter was a gem. And somehow even from hundreds of miles away, he still managed to make me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Our love has grown even stronger through this time apart. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
So as I dropped his final letter into the mail box this morning, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. I know that Chris and I have a very strong marriage and that we can overcome any obstacles that are placed in our path.
With much love and happiness on this day,