By midnight this morning my phone had already gone off several times, text messages from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday. I couldn't help but smile as I read them. Call me humble, but for several years I have dreaded my birthday because I don't particularly like being in the spotlight, but this year is just....different. And I don't know why.
A month ago when I realized that my birthday was closing in, I did dread it for a day or two. Turning 21 was okay, I could handle that, but 22? Umm. Can I just stay frozen on 21 forever? Please? In my mind, turning 22 meant that Chris would be leaving me very, very soon.
But something strange happened. The closer my birthday, the more excited I became. And I can honestly say that this year I am happy. As I reflect on my my past 10 years of life I realize that these last 7 years, the years I have spent with Chris, have been the absolute best years of my life.
Today as I got onto the computer, I was amazed to find over 45 people had wished me a happy birthday already today and all before 10am. I even had emails from 2 of my very good friends at Microsoft wish me well today. People wish me a happy birthday every year, but this year I really feel it. I feel the love from every direction.
In a world that seems to be falling apart more and more everyday, my friends and family have reminded me that there are still amazing people on this Earth, and I am blessed to have lived another year among them. I truly feel lucky to know such great people.
Today means that now there are only 2 short weeks until my husband leaves. This scares me, but for the first time I feel ready. I am ready to struggle, cry, feel lonely, and watch him walk away. I can finally wrap my head around it and also for the first time, I know that I will survive. I know that the challenges that will soon come are going to be necessary, and will result in great reward. I will make it through it all, and this new found feeling of confidence calms me.
So thank you for spending this special day with me. I love you all. :)